There I said it.
I went on holiday earlier in the year with 2 friends. One friend came to my room at 7 am in tears. She gets anxiety and had a really rough night. We chat, she tells me she's booked an early flight home for that day leaving the hotel at 4pm.
No drama. I thought the best thing to do would be to make her last day as nice and distracting as possible. We had a boat trip booked, I suggested we go on it. ✅
We went to our other friends room - Let's call her "Louise"- to tell her what was going on. She behaves strangely deciding that she wants to go home as well.
Hmmm.
We went for brekkie and agreed to go on this trip. Louise barely spoke throughout the 4 hour trip (it was torture) despite me trying my best to chat away and get our other friend to take her mind off her anxiety.
Toward the end of the trip Louise just got up and walked off, went downstairs of the boat without a word. It was so confusing and distressing for my anxious friend and me- what the hell?
I scooted back to the hotel alone because I was so angry and messaged Louise telling her we needed to talk. she messaged me back and told me she was upset because I looked after our friend and she didn't get the opportunity to.
WTF
Honestly I couldn't have cared if she'd talked to the woman on reception as long as she spoke to someone. We know anxiety thrives in silence and I was super proud of my friend for saying how she felt.
I dined alone that evening and reflected on all of this. Why didn't she want to spend time with me on my own? What did I do wrong?
Then all the memories of the last few years came to the fore.
➡️ When I told her I was starting my business mid pandemic, she wanted to give me feedback on the name - just like your baby. I didn't want negativity. So I said no thanks. She is particularly opinionated and I just couldn't take it.
From that day to this she has never asked about my business. So then I felt embarrassed, and I didn't talk about it. She wouldn't talk about things in her life - creating more barriers that were so hard to break.
I made excuses for her behaviour to myself- hormones, age, pressures of work and family.
I wasn't my real self because she didn't give me the space to be.
I don't know why this all happened - but what I know is that I started to define some very clear boundaries.
And so I wrote a masterclass and I'd you've ever felt like this, not enough, when you see someone or do something, you get that right anxious feeling in your throat - maybe it's time to do something about it?.
Join Our Boundary-Setting Masterclass:
We are excited to invite you to your upcoming masterclass on boundary-setting, where we will delve deeper into this topic and provide valuable insights. The masterclass will be hosted on Friday, 15th September 2023 at 11am. During the session, we will explore advanced techniques and provide actionable strategies to help you establish and maintain effective boundaries in all aspects of your life.
To secure your spot, register for the masterclass by clicking the link: Boundary-Setting Masterclass Registration
Establishing boundaries is essential for us all to nurture our well-being and unlock success in our personal and professional lives.