Updated: Jul 24, 2021
Have you been rejected? Or are you fearful of being rejected? Both feelings are thanks to our evolution.
A painful rejection was to encourage the person to change their behaviour to fit in with that group.
Those who changed their ‘ways’ were more likely to survive.
Rejection can be felt at work, job interviews, from a partner and while ‘dating’. From children or friends and can happen at any time of our lives.
People with ADHD are also particularly sensitive to the feelings that come with rejection.
There are 6 easy steps to help you cope with rejection
Accept that the event was painful. Rejection happens to everyone, the pain and upset you may feel is normal.
Talk about it - to yourself or others, talk to a therapist, your mentor or a coach, write down how you feel. It will help make things clear and help you understand why you were rejected.
Move on - Try to get past it by reminding yourself of your worth. Otherwise it can lead to self-blame and may make it difficult to move forward.
Analyse the facts and look to learn from it, rather than self-blame or assumption.
Call someone - friends or family members. A positive interaction can provide a natural pain relief and to keep things in perspective without catastrophizing.
Go for a walk or do some physical activity, exercise can also relieve the pain of rejection.
For The Future
Try to understand why rejection scares you.
Talking with a friend or a coach will help you understand why and how this fear is holding you back. Without facing fear, or putting yourself out there, you will never experience rejection. But you probably won’t achieve much either.
Start with small steps toward your goal.
See how they feel before making the next step. Being fearful of rejection at a job interview of your dreams, might see the small steps as having an informal conversation with someone at the company, having a mock interview, or even completing your application.
Stop negative self talk
All that does is reinforce your belief in the rejection in the first place. Positive thinking won’t always be enough, But that mindset shift will improve your mood and acceptance. It will also help you look at things more objectively.
You may have found yourself dealing with rejection, or are fearful of it. If you wanted to explore this with me or to ask more questions - book a free discovery session to see whether coaching is right for you.
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Show/Girl often does Pro Bono work for domestic violence survivors and most recent ‘pay what you can afford’ sessions for people who have found themselves out of work due to the global pandemic.